Saturday, 4 July 2015

21 Thoughts While On An Aeroplane

I love to travel but the one thing I don't love about travelling is flying. Something about a lot of people crammed into a small space for a long period of time doesn't really bode well for a fun experience. Unless you're in First Class in your fully flat bed in which case these twenty-one thoughts probably don't apply and can probably be replaced by one thought: "Well, aren't I a lucky bastard?" (Yes, yes you are).

For the rest of us...

Ok, so the view while flying over Greenland was pretty awesome.
1. No I can't reach the overhead locker, yes I am getting in your way but lifting a suitcase above my head just isn't going to happen right now (/ever).

2. Maybe I'll just stand here looking helpless until a man offers to help while feeling like a terrible feminist.

3. This is just a painful reminder that my childhood dream of being an air hostess was never to be because there's a minimum 5'3 height limit.

4. Although I have no idea how to apply foundation and my hair's too short to do a perfectly circular bun so maybe it wasn't the career for me anyway.

5. Must drink lots of water to off-set drying cabin air and arrive at destination with model-esque smug glow.

6. Wait, I could have water but I could also have a G&T. Tonic water is water.

7. This G&T in a tiny glass is ridiculously strong. But I've poured it now so might as well finish it before turbulence hits and I spill it on the man next to me.

8. Said man next to me has his arm on MY armrest.

9. Would it be rude to point that out?

10. Maybe I'll take a trip to the bathroom to remove my make-up and apply a nourishing in-flight face mask to quell my flight rage.

11. Why does the queue to the bathroom consist of 15 people who somehow couldn't do their foul business in the airport. Where there were more than 2 toilets for 100 people to use for 10 hours.

12. Actually, a face mask might just terrify my fellow passengers. Does anyone actually put a face mask on on a plane anyway?

13. Maybe it's time for another G&T. These 30 minutes in the air have been hard work.

14. Great - I can catch-up with all of those films I didn't have time to see at the cinema. Surely this is like, saving money if I watch 3 of them?

15. Watching a special-effect-laden blockbuster on a teeny tiny screen somehow isn't quite the cinema experience.

16. Food time! Oh, wait, the veggie option is a cheese sandwich.

Cheese Sandwich courtesy of TAP Portugal.
17. Why didn't I pack a Tuppawear of chopped veggies, homemade hummus and a green juice?

18. How much hummus would I get for my 100ml allowance though? Probably not enough.

Vegan food on a BA flight - probably easier than trying to squeeze Tuppawear into an already overflowing cabin bag.
19. Is it acceptable to tell the parents of the small child sitting behind me that their small child has been kicking the back of my seat for the last 3 hours?

20. Is it acceptable to just give said small child a death stare?

21. Are we nearly there yet?

Hello, Vegas!
lilylipstick
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3 comments

  1. I always find the best thing is to book a flight in the middle of the night. That way I (and the other passengers) end up sleeping right the way through the flight.
    On travels when this isn't possible though, I tend to have grand ideas for what I plan to achieve whilst stuck in the air, end up dithering (or annoyed by the kid behind me) and get nothing completed at all! :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. I always get really cross with other passengers haha!

    Maria xxx

    ReplyDelete

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