A bit of a different Mother's Day post. Elodie and I were talking about things that our parent's didn't have to deal with back in their day, so here are 15 things our mothers didn't have to deal with in their twenties. I'm sure Mummy Lipstick will read this and I hope she finds it funny (I'll explain what WhatsApp is).
1. WhatsApp paranoia. The two blue ticks are clearly there and yet he hasn't replied. Why? He's read the message. WHY HASN'T HE REPLIED?
2. Instagram "fitspo". I am hungover and can only face Diet Coke and maybe all of the sandwiches in Pret. I don't need to see a thigh gap and a kale and spinach smoothie right now.
3. Selfies. Possibly only useful if we forget what our friends look like before meeting them. Our mothers would have thought twice before wasting a precious roll of film.
4. Tinder. Our mothers dated people they met in the real world where at least people can't lie about their height or pretend they still look like how they did before the beer belly and receeding hairline.
5. Weird dating rules. Our mothers didn't have the concept of "dating lots of people at once" or have to agonise about whether to go "exclusive". Nor did they have "rules" about how to date and yet they somehow still managed.
6. Gluten free, sugar free, dairy free, fat free... what to actually eat for lunch is an absolute minefield. When our mother's were in their twenties a diet involved cottage cheese, ryvita and black coffee. Yes, it worked. No, it wasn't healthy.
7. Decision anxiety. Pizza was considered an exotic foreign food so less decision anxiety over what to eat for dinner. Also, carbs were not the enemy as no one had discovered how they are actually the root of all evil.
8. Snapchat. None of those pictures.
9. Chronic lateness. No one had a mobile phone so "sorry I'll be 15 minutes late!" texts were not an option. People got to places on time. I know the tube is always late and I know that I wasn't alive in 1972 but you can bloody well bet it was even more unreliable back then.
10. Whatsapp groups. Accidentally bitching about someone in a group thread. Feeling momentary wave of cold sick panic that your life is ruined and you're now far too busy to have the time to make new friends. Realising that you haven't and that it's ALL OK.
11. Whatsapp fatigue. When I was 14 I maybe had the energy to have 8 MSN chats at the same time. Now it sometimes feels like my entire social life has been reduced to Whatsapp chats and its only slightly less exhausting than leaving the house to socialise.
12. Drunk texts. No phone no problem. Drunk dialing someone on the landline probably didn't happen that much.
13. Blackberries. Work finished when you left the office. Our mothers were probably happier and healthier for it.
14. ASOS. No payday splurge at your desk. No shopping while lying in bed. No shopping while still drunk at 3am, forgetting about said shopping and then receiving the most vile assortment of clothes you have seen in your entire life.
15. Facebook life envy (or more likely "Facebook rather her than me"). Someone you went to primary school with is now married with a chocolate labrador. Someone you went to Brownies with now has a baby.
Seriously, what would life be like without any of the above? Maybe I could live happily without a few of them but it makes you think what people will think of our lives now in a few decades time... I will quiz Mummy Lipstick on some of these (maybe not number 8) over lunch at The Wolseley today - it's become a bit of a family tradition to have a March lunch there. I don't think Jude Law will be on the next table this year but the food and atmosphere is always tip-top.
Happy Mother's Day!